You Don't Know Me (Part II)
Before i get into finishing up my list I wanted to talk about something that happened to me that intrigued me. Now in all my years of existence I have never dated a woman of the opposite race. But a simple outing this weekend reaffirmed my desire to never ride the "white horse". I went out with my friend's roomate who happens to be caucasian to help them get their car appraised because they needed a man's presence because dealing with shady car dealers can be a bit intimidating. But the evil stares I got from sistas blew my mind. Maybe I was just being paranoid but as soon as we walked up in the establishment I felt eyes piercing through the back of my head. Now I've never dealt with that kind of thing before so I felt hella awkward. This one nice looking sista in particular gave me the : "you tall ass sellout nigga" look.. I wanted to run up and tell her what the situation was but It would have been to no avail.. Moral of the Story is... No Kanye, when Zeezy gets on he aint gonna leave your ass for a white girl!
51. I eat as much as a 250 lb man but gain no weight
52. Women envy me because I eat whatever I want
53. I think I may have a future in politics.. I'm greedy, have a voracious appetite for women, I like McDonald's, and I was a C+ average student.
54. I fantasize what it will be like when people will kiss my narrow ass.
55. I don't fantasize about kissing a woman with a narrow ass. I like em thick.
56. I think I hate the idea of school, but realize without another degree my earning potential is limited.
57. I'm 24 and I feel like I haven't achieved my full potential yet
58. In another 10 years I should be on top of the world
59. Tupac and Biggie died at age 25.. damn I haven't made my impact on the world yet
60.I wish I had the money to hire a personal trainer.
61. On second thought that money would be well spent on buying me a new car
62. I've never sold drugs b4.
63. I have bad luck
64. I'm afraid I would get caught.
65. If push came to shove I think I would take my chances trafficking drugs.
66.I like someone who doesn't like me back
67. I feel like an idiot for thinking that they would want to be with me
68. Scratch that, she's an idiot for not wanting to be with me.
69. I mask my insecurities with a cockiness bravado
70. There's not too much in this world I fear anymore.
71. Ok, maybe Suge Knight but I probably wouldn't show it
72. I think Kanye West and I are similar
73. Except I look better and have less money..
74. When I was a 12, the kids in the neighborhood called me "turtle" until I beat the shit out of this boy named Fred who joned me so bad I cried.
75. I think that was the day I grew my first pubes.
76. I used to be a mama's boy.
77. That's why I was so spoiled.
78. Ok, I still am to an extent but now I handle's mine
79.In highschool my friends called me "peanut"
80, As an adult my friends call me by my birthname.. We grown ass men now!
81. I grew up in what would be considered a ghetto ass neighborhood in College Park, GA
82. I was teased because I talked "white", then I would turn into a chameleon and become a "shawty" to fit in.
83. I stopped doing that in high school
83. I'm glad my mother made sure I talked "white"
84. I use to be a mischevious ass kid
85. Now I'm just outright nosey
86.I also happen to be a loner
87. Truth be told I don't like being alone all the time
88. I hate dating, all the formalities feel so stupid
89. I want to be able to visit all 7 continents one day, especially Freetown, Sierra Leone
90. I hope I find a woman that will love me for me before I blow up.
91. I really need a new car
92. I have Lobster tastes. on a tuna fish budget
93. I'm tired of MARTA, Atlanta Checker Cab, and my size 12's of being my modes of transportation
94. I'm starting to dislike the holidays
95. I have no idea why
96.Damn just 4 more to go and I'm running outta shit to say
97. Ok maybe 3 isn't bad
98. Ok I'm almost there
99. Didn't I tell you last time that
100. I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO!
You Don't Know Me
I know that its been long overdue since every blogger has done some form of this list. So for your viewing pleasure here goes my list of 100 things you didn't know about Zeezy4Sheezy. For those who do not want to find out otherwise embarrassing information about me and still want to maintain some semblance of respect for me if you see me in da screets please do not read further.
The List 1-50
- I have an Arabic first name and a German last name
- Because of this arabic first name I'm a target for authorized searches at Airports around the country. (Thanks, Al-Qaida)
- If I had a dollar for every time someone asked "Do you play basketball" I would be a millionaire
- I have been mistaken for Tracy Mcgrady at a club in Tampa, Florida. I shamelessly went along with it and got into VIP with all my friends and got 2 bottles of Moet.
- I use to be obsessed with Penny Hardaway as a teenager.
- It takes alot to make me angry.
- Upon me being angry, you might not like me. I will say mean things
- I use to be a cute baby/kid.
- Then it was all down hill as a teenager then as an adult.
- I also wore braces for 2 years
- And big brown Coke Bottle glasses.
- I looked like Steve Urkel for about a year.
- I also had an 6 inch high top with a Nike Sign in the back
- I once thought that MC Hammer was a great rapper.
- The first Cd I ever bought was back in 1991. It was Kris Kross' "Totally Krossed Out"
- I discovered masturbating when I was 13
- I haven't stopped ever since
- I discovered porn in the closet of my father's house when I was 13.
- I still watch porn.
- In case you haven't noticed I'm a bit self centered
- When I become famous I don't think I will be an egomaniac, I'll just be wealthy.
- I don't have any kids, nor do I want any anytime soon.
- All my childhood friends have kids now
- Whenever I do have a child I hope they're cute..
- I have good genetics, of course they'll be cute.
- Because of the age gap between many of my co-workers, they think that I am mature
- Because of the age similarity of many of my friends, they think I'm immature
- I've only slept with somewhere between 1-100 women
- Ok I'm lying its actually less than 10
- I really like watching Boondocks, Chris Rocks's show on UPN, and Run's House
- I think Aaron Mcgruder is my brother from another mother cause I swear we think alike
- I still have a huge celebrity crush on Nia Long.
- I have been in about 5 fist fights in my entire life
- I have not lost one yet
- When I was 12 I wore a size 12 shoe
- 12 years later I still wear the same size
- In one summer I grew from 5 ft 9 to 6'2
- Sometimes I wonder what kind of game did my dad spit at my mom to get her attention
- I think I have a foot fetish.
- I like that purple stuff.
- I'm skinny but I'm deceptively strong.
- If I had a body like Terrell Owens I would never wear clothes and my ego would be off the Richter Scale
- I've been shot, hit by a car, and bit by a dog before.
- Compiling this list has become more difficult than I expected
- I have no patience and I hate waiting
- I have a hard time letting go
- I like challenges
- I love being told I can't do something
- I like kissing more than foreplay
- I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO
Real Men
Now before my blog was deleted my last post was about how women often times say one thing but actually mean something entirely different. I know that a few of you took issue or offense to the fact that I didn't make any mention that men often do the same thing. Once again, I will make another disclaimer. This is just my attempt to make sense of the female species and I am only drawing upon my own experiences. Well to those who were concerned, Lately I've been thinking alot about who is considered a REAL MAN because I had someone tell me that is what they need now?
You hear both men and women using this term. What does it mean? Is it even important?
It's almost like the Loch-ness Monster or Bigfoot. You've heard alot about it, people claimed to have seen one but no one is actually really sure if it exists.
Well, after thinking about this particular topic for a long time okay actually 20 minutes when I was on the toilet , I've come to the conclusion that it is a VERY important topic. At this point, I believe that a REAL MAN is this "ideal" that women imagine when they're saying "I want a guy who is sensitive". They're thinking of the REAL MAN, and then they're imagining him ALSO being sensitive. There are a lot of aspects to this REAL MAN.
Here are a few criterion I've come up with:
-Status/Wealth
-Lack of Insecurities
-Standards
-Responsibility
-Experience
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Leadership
-A Challenge
-Superior Sex Game
So to the readers, what is your version of a real man??
Destroy and Rebuild
I'm Back Bitches!!! Like New Orleans you tried to destroy me but, now I'm about to be back and better than ever. To inform as to the whereabouts of what happened to my blog, essentially what took place was hating to the highest form. Although in some cruel twist I'm almost flattered that someone would become so incensed with jealousy and rage that they would a) steal my password while looking over my shoulder when I was writing in my blog. b) Logging into my blog and and actually deleting it. c) Then get mad at me because I had the "nerve" to be upset over a blog.
Now granted when I started this I really couldn't give a 2 shits about what came out of head when writing in my blog but, then around March of this year I actually started writing more frequently until I started to have a little fun with it.
You ever have someone hate on you when they had absolutely no reason to? Now I see how Donovan McNabb probably feels about Terrell Owens. Speaking of Terrell Owens I kind of feel sorry for his stupidity. I read your autobiography and saw how similar your childhood was to mine by being an only child, black and skinny. I actually appreciated some of your antics on the field. My only problem was, do you think it was absolutely neccessary to keep continously throwing Donovan under the bus like that considering all that he has overcome just to get rid of the stigma of the "black quarterback". I'm mean Brett Favre is quarterbacking a 1-7 Packers team. What a slap in the face. Then you said some absurdity about the organization not acknowledging your 100th touchdown catch. NEWSFLASH!! You've only been with the team a year, they gave you a 13 million dollar bonus that you agreed to. They honestly don't owe you shit. Now if you were still with the 49ers then that argument would be legitimate. But now you really pushed yourself off the ledge now buddy. Not only have you cost yourself 1.8 million dollars in the process by "keeping it real" but you have created a deep hole for yourself. Because you chose to open your mouth you missed out on that big contract you were expecting and now you probably won't be able to keep that nice home of yours out in Lithonia.. Oops too late you just put it up for sale. 
Ok I had to get that off my chest but as I was saying before, It's like why is everyone showing me nothing but love except for this one person who contnually says something negative. But I didn't mind it too much because it actually showed that someone really cared enough about me to develop the strong emotion of "haterade" . So thanks alot! You know who you are. This goes for anyone actually Remember, I may not get you back today, tomorrow, or even this year but trust me I will and when I do it will be nuthin nice..lol
I'm BACK!!
..Sue...Zette..., at
4:39 AM
