The Air Up There Vol II

Shit I Hate Seeing

2006-08-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

I really don't have much to talk about personally except for the fact that I'm tired of going to court every few weeks just to keep getting my court dates reset.. Memo to self... Never ever ever ever ever run afoul of the law again.. AGAIN!!! Its becoming a nuisance to keep working half days then sitting in court all day just to be told to come back again in a few weeks.. I'm liable to just plead guilty and just man up and deal with whatever comes.. On second thought..hell no.. I aint trying to be locked.. That shit aint cute I don't care who you are.. Its not a good look, period dot.

Oh well I meant to do this post a while go and never go around to finishing up.. I did this a year ago on my old blog when my shit was poppin like firecrackers!!

SHIT I HATE SEEING: 2006 Edition

I hate seeing grown ass black men wearing anytype of open toed sandals.. I mean my feet aren't jacked up but they aint pretty either but they still don't have no business being out in public. You know I'm the king of flip flops and socks look. They are footwear only reserved for the beach or just hopping out the shower.. I even hate the sandals with just the back heel out. Cause its always one brotha that decides he's too good to lotion his ashy ass feet and wants to display what it would look like if baby powder looks like on black feet..

I hate seeing big, grown ass men walking little bitty ass dogs.. That shit really irks me alot.. Case in point I see this swole ass dude walking around with this little bitty ass Paris Hilton looking dog.. What is this?? I guess I'm just use to seeing niggas with the ghetto mascot.. yes, that's right the Pitbull. I love how we just take stuff and just make it ours.. But this big dude, little dog thing has got to go..

It was cool at first when Bryan Barber(director of "Idlewild" he being the first cat I seen rock the the mohawk style back in 2003.) Unfortunately being the biter he is P.Dicky started rocking one a few months later for his "Diddy Runs the City Campaign".. But now fast forward 3 years later.. 3 years now.. Why are people still rocking mohawks.. its done.. finito. Just let it go, the aforementioned gentlemen have already moved on years ago, now you must do the same immediately!! Now I know white people still alot of our styles but this one just ain't for us!

I hate seeing bad ass kids out in public.. Now is it just me or parents now a days just don't believe in ass whuppings like the one that have deprived me of a full grown ass to this day.. My momma, bless her soul was Ass Whooper of the year two years straight in 88' and 89'. I mean have you ever been to IKEA on a saturday?? Its like the inmates running the asylum up in that piece. Shouting, running, stepping on my gahdamn Vans and scuffing em up. Then when I give the parents the "Are u gonna whoop they ass look" they just smile and nod a keep it moving.. What is all that about.. Man I would have been fucked up onsite if I was carrying on like that back in the day.. I guess they don't make parents like they use to. Growing up I feared only 3 things in life God, Big ass dogs, and my momma's right hand!!

Oh Well until next time PEACE OUT!!

California Love & Shit I Hate Seeing

2006-08-22T07:19:00.000-07:00

Today is Tuesday August 22, 2006. Yes, its finally here ladies and gentlemen.. No, not not my birthday (We Leo's never stop beggin for attention!!) that was 10 days ago.. It's Outkast album release date!! But, Houston we have problem.. For some reason I'm not too hopeful for this record. I've been buying Outkast albums the day they came out since ATLIENS came out 10 years ago in 1996 (damn that was redundant). I'm mean every song that has been officially released or leaked on the net has done absolutely nothing for me.. I really tried to like "Mighty O" I even caught myself smiling with delight as Andre flexed his skills on the mic for the first time in about 3 or 4 years. But still it didn't hold my attention the way a "Bombs over Baghdad" did. Then came Morris Brown, like the hook not feeling the video or song.. Then they try to throw "Idlewild Blues" to see if that shit will stick and it hasn't grown on me either. Now Dre isn't the greatest singer in the world, ok let's be real he's just a shade better than Nelly but a 1/4 of the talent of a Purple Rain Prince and that song ain't flying with me either.. Oh well I'll buy anyway just cause I'm a true Stan!! (Random Thought... Why is Speakerboxx still sitting on my living room floor with Nann scratch on it!! I bought that double CD 3 years ago and its not even in its case and still no scratch but yet the "Love Below" that sits in my car can only play like 4 songs on there without fucking up!!)

Ok Now onto what I sat down at this compruter to do.. Talk about my Women Situation.
Now to any red blooded male living in this jungle they call da ATL.. You know about the "RATIO".. 10 gals to every guy. Now I do meet lots of pretty girls but there's a catch.. outta that 10... 80% of them are not compatible with ya man and the remaining percentage or either married, involved, lesbos, or not attracted to my tall, handsome, lanky ass.. So basically I'm stuck in a mirage basically.. I see all of these beautiful sistas and can't really get wit none of em.. But there is always a catch or an exception to that rule..

Now last week I ran into this chick that lives (lived) in my building. Now I hadn't seen her in awhile and I felt bad cause I was looking sloppy as hell. She is looking absolutely stunning.. She's got an the cute little sundress on with the heels showing off da peek-a-boo toe.. (You know a nigga loves the peek-a-boo toe)Hair looking right. I mean flawless.. Here i am standing here in a white tee wit kool aid stains on it looking like a tall ass 5-year old.. Anyway she was still extra happy to see Zeezy!! So we shoot the shit for about 5 minutes.. Now I'm the kind of cat that lives by the mantra "Out of Site, Outta Mind", tell me why I couldn't remember her name for shit!! Then to top it off I'd try to play it off by scrolling through my phone to see if I would see a name to jog my memory.. uh uh.. So i tell her to call my phone and on the call id pops her name. I felt like such a turd but oh well.. Moving along

So she invites me out to dinner with her and a friend BUT, her gay friend she is staying with for the weekend is going.. So naturally I said "hell to tha naw" (ok that's what I wanted to say but kept it safe and said no I'm straight)..
So i just told her lets get up for drinks when u get back.. So we go out and the strangest thing happened.. I'm talking bout it was like the Fourth of July up in that piece!!! There were sparks like I could not imagine.. I mean we were finishing each other sentences.. So we walked and talked and kissed.. The inevitable happened....Those words that every nigga in the world loves to hear.. "Let's go back to your place." Just to hear that phrase alone makes me hard enuff to cut diamonds!!! But unfortunately it was late as hell and being that she had to get on the road to drive all the way back to Cali and I had to be at work by 6 A.M. Giving her the "Stick Shift" was not the business.. Plus I like her and I don't want to lose interest by sexing her too soon.. We'll see what happens when I head out to Cali for a 3,000 mile booty call.. I gotta go Part 2 of Spike Lee's movie is about come on peace!!!

I'm 25 and still Alive!!

2006-08-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

There's been times when i thought
I wounldn't last for long
But now i think i'm able to
Carry on
It's been a long, long time comin
And i know a change gone come
Oh! Yes it will

These are lyrics from the great man himself Sam Cooke...

Man oh Man.. So much has happened to ya boy in the last month I don't even know where to begin.

First things first... I just celebrated my 25th birthday last Saturday August 12. A little melancholy this year. I didn't do it big as initially planned but I had to keep things subdued (no wild stripper stories) and just be thankful for all the blessings I've received to be priveleged to make it this far.

All I can think about now is how I plan on changing myself so that the next 25 years can be even 10 times more fruitful.. So far as I reflect on the past quarter century. My life has been sprinkled with a few successes compunded by major losses, setbacks and poor choices.. Something that happened to your boy in July slapped me in the face and forced me to re-evaluate my shit. I don't like who I am and who I've become at this point. I've decided to facilitate some change within myself in order to ensure that I'll be able to reach my full potential and hit the pinnacle of success in everything that I do in life from here on out.

First off no more procastinatin'-This is one of my more biggest issues.. I don't even have a plausible explanation or even a clue as to how it even started but 90% of my problems have resulted i my not having a sense of urgency.. You can notice it in the way I walk, talk, and think.. I'm never in a hurry. I gotta be proactive in everything no one is gonna baby me anymore..

Stop letting your pride get in the way and being afraid to turn to people for help sometimes.. I'm not saying become a moocher or a leech who always has his hand out.. But I can't continue to think I can do everything by myself and be independent all the time.

I gotta stop ignoring the consequences of certain actions that I make in life.. I've had an uncanny ability to do some dumb shit and not even stop to think of what the outcome may be.

Stop having a fear of failure.. It doesn't make sense to have this fear cause its only blocking me from taking on action on something that can benefit me in the long run..

I swear sometimes this writing shit is theraputic.. If I can tackle these issues that prevent me from doing the right thing ya boy is on his way to big things..

To anyone out there who reads this, is there anything that you want to change about yourselves and it doesn't have to be physical..

Inner Bitch

2006-07-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

What ito blog world?? I've been gone for a minute, more like 2 months, 10 days, and 21 hours but hey who's counting. I apologize but I had to make up for lost time with out a car by driving the JAG virtually everywhere in the Atlanta metro area. I had to get my summer league team together if you know what I mean. So now that my swagger is back in full effect, I'm ready to start focusing back on getting my blog back to where it once was..

Well onto the topic of today's post.. Bitchalisms... What is Bitchalisms you ask?

Bitchalisms:Any moment where an otherwise heterosexual male displays major signs of weakness.

Now the moment in question took place on Friday evening. Myself and a few friends and their friends all met up at Dave & Busters for some drinking, laughing, and chill type action(aka Club D&B, this place is just about as deep as Visions on a Friday night) The guy in question, I didn't know him but he was my friends cousin who just moved to the A and was with a female. Eventually we all decided to go our seperate ways and then meet back up at MJQ's later on. Well its just me, my homeboy and two lovely ladies posted at the bar. Well one of the females gets a phone call saying that the couple just left got a flat tire.. So everyone thinking, "Damn, that's fucked up." We all assumed they would be straight since ole dude was in the car. Then I look over and I see the female on the phone with her mouth open..

Female Friend #1: Huh?? Ya'll need some help?? Why?
Female Friend #1: He can't change a spare tire??
Simultaneously a roar of laughter breaks out at the table
Female Friend #2: What kind of bitch ass shit is that? He couldn't be my man..
Me:How old is he??
Female Friend #2: 29
My Homeboy: 29.. Damn bruh, you looking like a straight BEEEYOTCH over here!!
Me: Don't worry I know how to fix a flat in 5 minutes or less!

Now as a man there are only a few instances where we get to show our bravery, strength, prowess and display why we are men..
1. Anytime u go to the bathroom and when u come back a nigga is all in your ladies face.. Anythime u don't check him.. yup, you guess it ladies and gentlemen BITCHALISM
2. Anytime someone disrepects you 2 your face and you do nothing... Your right again BITCHALISM
3. If you riding in the passenger side of the car, manage to change the cd changer but can't change the tires.. BITCHALISM
4. Your women tell u to hit it from the back and u cna't stay in there longer than a minute...major BITCHALISM.. In the situation u definetly must show who's boss and rock that...

All though there are many more the premise is, If u can't accomplish any of these feats at the given moment all hope for your masculinity is gone. Cause women love to feel safe with a nigga.

So we dip out and finally get to the car to change the flat. Naturally I stepped up and took the lead. Now at the same time the pressure was on me cause I opened my big ass mouth talking all that shit about how I could change a flat in 5 minutes or less. So all the females is watching intently waiting for me to slip. Now in my head I'm nervous cuz I'm thinking what if I don't crack the bolts off the wheel, or what if I don't jack the car up right.. But I stayed calm under pressure and did it just like I said it would flawlessly. So I ended up looking like a hero. But, instead of ole dude watching and taking notes he's over there on the phone.. Ole fake ass Pretty Ricky Fontaine looking ass nigga.

My Question to All 3 of my readers is "Have you ever been in a situation where a man experienced a BITCHALISM moment and what did you do?

Ridin Clean

2006-04-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

It's Official!! I have retired the size 12 dress shoes/tennis shoes , put the MARTA card on suspension and stepped into a new car!!

Do you understand what that means Ladies and Gentlemen

1.That means no more taxi cab rides
2.No more conveniently bumming rides from people.
3.No more going on dates with my date picking me up.
4.No more walking home from work anymore
5.No more sitting at home because my ass can't go any further than Midtown or Downtown.
6.No more harassment from bums as they walk past me down the street.
7.More attention from shallow chickenheads.
8.A valid excuse to Valet Park my car.
9.Now when I'm hungry ass hell late at night I can actually get my ass up and go to Fellini's!!!
10.Most importantly an instant confidence boost.

Man my luck is on the rise again.. For the first time in months I actually met a female and she actually didn't give me the "I have a boyfriend, can't you tell I'm lying out my ass" diss. I actually had a good lengthy conversation with her despite the fact I was at Club Vision. She's from New Orleans(I have a fondness for those Bayou accents!!!). She was attending Xavier University but then transferred to Georgia State after she decided to stay in the A. As u can tell I don't get very much play often but when I do find what I'm looking for I usually do a good job of picking the wrong ones for all the right reasons. I'm sure u can understand my excitement. My love life has been non existent.. I'm worried if my third legs still works anymore its been so long. So we'll see where this goes. I got to see my old roomate Mitch last night and kicked it with him like it was old times at Lexington Crossing.. I even saw my older brother which was a trip in itself..We both promised that we need to do a better job of keeping in touch with each other.. I even saw my ex's cousin who I wasn't sure if she was coming on to me or if she was just a little tipsy and being friendly.. ALL in ALL its been a great week!!

Until next time

What You Know About THAT!!!!

2006-04-04T13:11:00.000-07:00

Man words can't even describe the happiness I felt after the Gators destroyed UCLA last night.. I guess its a minor payback for all the struggles of matriculating as a student at the University of Florida.

I dare the Haters to say shit now!! All you busta ass Seminoles, Hurricanes, Bulldogs, can hit the bus..

See this why I love sports! Sports is the only thing that can bring joy to millions of people at any given time.. A sense of pride, entitlement and all that good shit. What made this feat so special was although Gator teams in the past have had far better individual talents (ex.. Donnell Harvey, Mike Miller, Orien Greene, James White, Peep Roberson, David Lee and Matt Walsh to name a few) these guys last night displayed a true team effort.. thank god they won so now Adrian Moss can finally leave the team as the longest tenured basketball player in NCAA history.. Yes he been the team a record 10 years running!

Now if only the football team could get their shit together.. Who knowa?

For the first time since I left Gainesville for good two years ago, I truly wish I was back as an undergraduate again so I could go an celebrate..

I know my people are not going to class today. The set is extra chunky today!!

WE ARE THE PEOPLE'S CHAMP BITCHES!!!

Tell em Why you Mad

2006-03-30T13:44:00.000-08:00

Something's got to change soon.. I feel like I'm stuck on a Hamster wheel just going round and round... I need to create some type change in my life now and soon. I feel like I'm drifting further and further from the goals I've set for myself thus far in life. I really am going to have to do some soul searching because even though you hear people say "oh, don't worry about what everyone else is doing" but I feel like the real me is slowly losing touch with reality.. He's waiting to come out but because of the obstacles and hurdles I've placed in front of myself I've shied away from certain opportunities. Something's gotta give... I'm not meant to be a regular dude.. I was put hear to achieve greatness and right now I'm falling far short of what I'm capable of. I wonder what my mom would say about me if she were still alive...

I've had to learn alot of things the hard way but the lessons I'm learning now are humbling..

I don't even feel comfortable approaching females anymore..

my self esteem is suffering.. I'm need a serious confidence boost. I mean realistically what do I have to offer anyone but these damn good looks (ok, I'm reaching). I feel like a scrub sometimes. There's nothing about me that stands out in the crowd from the next man.. All I got is a decent job, a crummy apartment and a box of Thin Mints girl scout cookie.. oh yeah and Comcast Digital Cable, and my new best friend my 30gig Ipod.

ok I'm done venting ya'll.. I'm not really crazy, I'm just figuring my way out in this cruel world..

It's Not That Hard Out Here anymore for Me

2006-03-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Last night I watched probably the proudest moment in my life on television… Now typically I rarely watch award shows because they tend to be quite redundant and boring (ex. MTV Awards, Grammys, Vibe) But when I heard a couple of weeks ago that 3-6 Mafia was going to be actually performing “It’s Hard Out Here for A Pimp” I knew I was in store for some ground breaking ish..

Many questions ran through my mind.. 1. Are they going to keep clean? What are they going to wear? Were the going to be themselves? Being that the Oscars is probably the snootiest, snobbiest of crowds I was just anxious to see what was going to go down. Cause if you are like me and have been listening to 3-6 Mafia (who, in my own opinion are the originators of “Crunk’ music) for the last 10 years are fully aware that their music has been known to incite a riot or two and revolutionized “throwing bows” as an art form. I flipped back and forth for about 2 hours when I finally stumbled upon appropriately, Ludacris presenting none other than 3-6 Mafia featuring Taraji P. Henson who was looking decent for a change. She’s the best in the game when its come to playing chickenhead role in a movie.. (She’s part of the reason I quote Baby Boy so much) I was pleased that they kept it gangsta the whole time and didn’t sell out. I was leaning and rocking and gangsta walking the entire performance. Now if that would have been it then I would have been cool..

But then when actually got to the presentation of the award I said to myself “There is no way in hell they are going to let these niggas win, I mean they just let Jaime Foxx, Denzel and Halle win the last 2 –3 years. The Academy has reached its quota for black folks for at least a good 25 years. When they were about to open the envelope I was sweating as if my ass was R.Kelly at Girl Scouts meeting.. And the Oscar goes to ……….Jordan Houston and Paul Bearugard bka Juicy J, and DJ Paul.. I was jumping up and down.. And the beautiful thing about it all they were actually happy they won.. Just cheeseing from ear to ear showing they grillz off.. Screaming Memphis, Tennessee.. I'd like to thank my baby momma, Pookie, Ray-Ray, Craig and dem!!…

The quote of the evening came from Jon Stewart who chastised the relatively boring crowd “Why is it that they aren’t even actors (well actually they are they did make those funny ass “Choices” movies)and they are they happiest to actually receive this award…

My final thought to myself: Hell has actually frozen over now.. and Pigs are going to start flying soon.

21 Questions?

2006-02-18T12:20:00.000-08:00

Well I was gonna post something new but I figured I'll save it for another rainy day. I'm kinda tired right now and blogging would require me to think entirely too much. Therefore, I'm going to ask all of readers of this blog to go ahead and ask me any question you feel like asking. If I don't get enough responses we will pretend this never happened.

I'll start..

Where did the name of my blog come from??

This 1994 basketball movie called the Air Up There starring Kevin Bacon aka Footloose
Its about a basketball coach and onetime college star, whose headstrong personal style has threatened his rise to head coach, spots a teenage basketball sensation on a videotape sent back from one of the college's religious missions in Africa. Hoping to advance his own career in the process, he quickly sets out to recruit the 6-foot-10 player for his lackluster team. Being that I'm of West African descent, loves basketball the name made sense.

Okay now your turn
PEACE!!

Stank You Very Much

2006-02-10T12:24:00.000-08:00

I went to Best Buy today to holla at my boy Travis to see if he can let me use his discount . Cuz you know people love da hookup!! So, I was walking down the aisle and there he was. I wasnt sure if it was him because I was trying to figure out why he was at the Best Buy at Stonecrest Mall. So I walked to the end of the aisle I was on, trying to play it cool. Then turned to walk up the aisle he was on so we would be facing each other if it really was him I looked at him...he looked at me and then I spoke..

Z- Wassup folk?
3000- Nothing much, just chilling
Z- How you been man?
3000- Just hanging out.
Z- You still doing the music thing?
3000-Does it look like it?
( he laughed when he said it, so I wasnt sure what that meant)
Z- I mean I hope so dawg. I know how the rap scene is it doesnt take long before a new cat comes in and does his thang. But I'ma be honest nigga, these new dudes couldnt check a microphone for you...thats real talk!
(he laughed )
3000 I know man..they all over the place
Z-I was just listening to "Crumblin Erb" yesterday nigga!
3000- Stop playing nigga
Z- For real dude. I mean I'm in the streets constantly and I keep my ear to the street And regardless of what you think people are waiting for some new shit from you.( he cracked a smile) I mean real talk, no one has come close to you since you left. And look how long they had to do it? Nobody can do what you did nigga!
3000-Ha. Word?
Z- I mean what we gotta do? I'll get on the campaign right now nigga. I know you got some new shit right?
3000- Yeah I do. It's just gotta be right. Matter of fact the new shit is crazy. I dont think niggas is ready for it.
Z- You always come from left field but people are really fiending for it right now
3000- I hear you nigga
Z-I mean I've been on different music websites and there's always some thread talking about when is the new one dropping
3000-Yeah..I feel you though but I just haven't felt "IT" lately.. That rush you get when its time to make some music
Z- The ATL's down for you though. Hell the whole world is . Ya'll made it cool to be from the A. I remember when I bought the first CD at the old Turtles Music Store on Old Nat'l.

3000- Thanks man. ( He starts laughing out loud)I appreciate that nigga. I miss being on the stage, this industry is so full of bullshit..
Z- And it always will be D! We just gotta get past that though. Good music is good music and it always finds a way to get to the people.
( He starts laughing out loud)
3000- You crazy nigga.
Z- Nah nigga. Thats real. You crazy. I know you sittin on some shit. I heard you been out in LA recording with Raphael Saadiq and some more folks..shit

3000- It's coming man, its just gotta be right. I've always been like that nigga. When it aint right you know it but when its right its right you dont even have to question it.
Z- I feel you.
3000- I been working though. I dont want peeps to think I'm just sittin on my ass. .

D- I don't get like this for just anybody though.. Its outta respect.. I remember when you came to my college about 5 years ago man.. I sat out in the hot ass Florida sun so me and my roomate could have a front row seat to watch you and Big Boi perform.
3000- Damn! I think I remember that show..
(he's laughing way louder than before now)
Then I look to my left and see my homeboy travis in beige khakis and a Best Buy shirt who can clearly see that I'm talking to 3000 but still manages to interrupt.
BEST BUY -Wassup man!
Zeez- Nothin much just chillin, just came up here looking for you.
BEST BUY - What you been up to?, I ain't seen you in a minute
Z-Yeah man, I just been working like a Hebrew Slave..
BEST BUY - I feel you man

Then he walks off and I turn to Andre 3000 to finish the convo and before I can start where I left off I hear my homeboy Travis interrupt me again...
BEST BUY - Ummm Zeez? One more question.
Z- What man?!?!?!
BEST BUY - Is it a particular reason that your standing in the Rap aisle talking to the cd's?

Trends That Need To Stop Immediately

2006-02-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

Today In Black History
Presented By Huey and Riley

I've been rolling in laughter all day with the newly released video of Jim Jones getting his ass whupped by Jr. Mafia and Camron running away like a little girl.. You know what they say Karma is a bitch.. There's something about watching senseless violence especially beatdowns from cats that talk hella trash that tickle my ribs. Check it out for your self.

On To the Real Stuff
It's 2006 now and we are 50% done with the first 10 years of the new millenium. But, there is still stuff going on in the world that needs to stop (Imagine Bernie Mac speaking to you right now) IMMEDIATELY!! These are essentially a list of trends I would love to end and go away permenantly.

1. Celebrities who think its cool to wear a "Grill" because Nelly said so. Also bloggers who also think that the song is cool should be karate chopped in the "thoat"(and no that isn't a typo) It just bothers me deeply that Paul Wall is making so much money off of exploiting our culture. Now I understand that Paul Wall is from Houston and its apart of his lifestyle but why is it that "Pink Toe" is always capitalizing off us and we always run along and co-sign. Its 2006 and we are still participating in a minstrel show.

2. Skinny Dudes and Fat Dudes who have penchant for taking off their shirts in public... Being that I am a swole ass dude trapped in a thin man's body, I too dream off showing off my pecs one day but when you can see a brother's heart beat through his chest cavity its definetly never a good look. Fat Dudes or Big Boned if you prefer.. Stop taking your shirts off as well.. No one wants to see Filet Mignon & Pork Rinds hanging off of your stomach either.. And cover up the man boobs too!

Court Sucks!!

2006-01-27T13:27:00.000-08:00

I must say that the judicial system in America sucks... Or maybe just the one here in Niggaville aka Atlanta. I had to go to court today because of the four.. yes four traffic citations I got after being pulled over about a month ago. First off the courthouse is complete chaos and there is no kind of order at all despite this being a place that has a serious police presence.

All the employees acted like assholes because I didn't know "the procedure". I guess they assume if your black, young, and male that your ass has been through either a correctional facility or a courthouse before, so you should automatically "get in, where you fit in". Here I am thinking I'm running late because my ticket says I was supposed to be there by 1pm, WRONG!!

I go to the desk to try to find my name amongst the hundreds of others who are on the court list for today and I knew I was in for a long ass wait. Sure enuff I get up stairs and its just a (be forewarned I'm about to say some insensitive shit right now, so if you do not want to be offended stop now) sea of niggas, a few Ching-Chongs, A couple of "essays", and a few token "Pink Toes". I figure I'll be here all day if I don't somehow get my ass to the front of the line. Going unnoticed when your 6'5 and in a suit is pretty hard to do.

The Baliff comes out and yells "If you are here for a citation and not a ticket, come to the front of the line. "We only letting in the first 10 people."

People were scrambling as if we were trying to get to see Jesus at the Pearly Gates... But my ass sure did come in at number 5.. (By the way Lord, forgive me for stepping on that old white man's toes.)

A few observations from my visit to the court house.

1. On the bench I was sitting at why did someone write "BMF BITCH" in bold letters..
I found that pretty ironic since their organization is probably the most dangerous crime family in the country and currently in jail for a litany of charges .

2.Apparently a lotta people can't drive for shit.. Some of the charges they got were funny as hell.

3.Why did this dude almost get his ass knocked the fucked out by the police for talking shit under his breath to the judge.. ole Fake ass Brian Nichols a
4. When It came time for me to approach the judge to announce my plea (By the way It was "No Contest) why was my ass nervous as if I was about to go to jail or something..

But all in all it was an intresting look into the judicial system for the first time.
But, the downside was the fact that because they were so overcrowded my court date has been rescheduled until next month...DAMN

Where's The Beef

2006-01-18T17:05:00.000-08:00

It was only a matter of time before my words were going to incite some one to get a little emotional... but its all good though.. The pen happens to be mightier than the sword.. Now I'll admit that I did spit a little venom because in my opinion I felt that this particular blogger was went over board with calling our black queens bitches.

But in all reality I understand with a wardrobe like this (By the way if you are going to be a self proclaimed mack I'm going to need you to not wear Beverly Hills Polo Club shirts from Target.. Macks are supposed to be a little tighter than that.)

And if possible please get one of your lady friends to invest in a large bottle of Cocoa Butter for your crusty ass hands.. (Another F.Y.I. , This is not 1988 14K gold Nugget Rings are not in style anymore. I suggest you take that back to the Swap Meet on Crenshaw Blvd where you got that from.)

Albeit I may have been a bit out of line with my funny ass comment...

"wow your fictional character is very thought provoking.... Ok dumbass in case you are too slow to pick up on the sarcasm, stop bullshitting with yourself and get off your momma's phone line writing about how you are a wack ass wannabe mack from compton"

But hey I call em like I see em...

Now To TopMack I'm offering you an opportunity of a lifetime to come to the ATL and try to see what Southern Hospitality is all about and realize that your fictional characters would not work down here... Now I went ahead and took the liberty of finding you some decent rates on Greyhound Since I know you Mack's like to roll in style..

Snap Music=Crap Music

2006-01-15T10:28:00.000-08:00

Now I've sat back this week and I've found several different blogs that have questioned the validity of "Snap Music" as a music form. As well call into question the southern rap scene as a whole. Its frustrating on several levels because majority of the people who criticize southern rap music are from up north. Everyone knows New Yorkers tend to be the most narcisisstic bunch of people on the face of the planet.

Here's a sample of some of the hate I've read lately

"I’ve had it up to here with you dumbasses sabotaging our musical legacy in the name of ass shaking"

"Everything about this music sucks, the lyrics, the beats, the incessant
finger snapping, even the guys look like losers." (ouch)

Now I have a problem especially with that last statement.... Are you implying that cats from New York don't look like losers as well???

Case in Point
If that doesn't look like a loser than what do you call that??

Or I've even heard people say that cats from the south look ignorant because we like to sport gold and platinum grills, that we are dumbing down hip-hop, and basically putting on a minstrel show.... May I Present to You...

Up North Niggas

Down South Niggas

Now tell me what the fuck is the damn difference??

Your Honor, the Defense Rests...

To be honest with you, as a born and raised Atlantan who happens to be a lover of hip hop, alot of people fail to realize is that majority of the local music( and when I refer to local I'm not talking about your Outkast, T.I. Ludacris, major label niggas) from the A that blows up is made strictly for people who like that kind of music. D4L’s intent for making Laffy taffy was to provide a soundtrack for the dance that is so popular and for ghetto ass clubs like the Poole Palace, Prime TIme, Chocolate. etc... It just so happened that their particular songs blew up and went nationwide.. Most of the local artists here are concerned with getting a little love from the radio and the streets. So the fact that the song is the number one downloaded song in the country is even more astonishing. I know its frustrating that N.Y. is not ruiling hip hop and arguably hasn’t since B.I.G died…

If you don’t like the music coming from the south don’t listen to it and please don't buy it. Cause either way some white kid in Davenport, Iowa is buying the album for you and trying to lean wit it and rock it in a very off beat fashion.

PEACE!!!

Where Ya Been At??

2006-01-05T11:18:00.000-08:00

www.zeezy4sheezytheory.com is naming several politicians and entertainers, claiming that the secret group is responsible for the deleting and ending of Zeezy4Sheezy's critically acclaimed blog. According to the site, Bill Cosby, Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan and others are all part of the plan. ”Zeezy4Sheezy was haunted by a secret. One that only he was aware of, and one he couldn't share with anyone, lest his comedy empire crumble,” the introduction reads.” He knew that at the same time he was having many readers read his blogs weekly, there was a secret cabal of powerful African-American leaders from the business, political, and entertainment industries working together to ensure that the second blog for the Air Up There Vol II. would never happen.”

Happy New Year's Ladies and Gentlemen! Yes, it took several death threats and other promises of bodily injury from fellow bloggers to get me to wake up out of my coma that I've been in for the last month. I haven't even been reading as many blogs lately. Part of my inability to write anything latley has been due to the fact that for about 3 weeks in December my job was working me like a Hebrew Slave. I mean 10-14 hours a day at work can wear anyone out mentally so everytime I gathered myself to post anything, I just sat at the compruter (Yes, I meant to say compruter) and stared at it. It was awful! Being the conspiracy theorist that I am, I almost felt compelled to go to Africa ala Dave Chappelle to deal with my problems but its 2006 so I must start anew.

Big Ups to the College Football National Champions the University of Texas Longhorns! What an amazing end to an amazing game. Vince Young singlehandedly put his team on his back like Moses and lead them to the promise land. You my friend have just earned yourself a large payday come April for the NFL Draft.

2005 Zeezy Awards

2005-12-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

As the year is coming to a close, slowly. It also the dawn of the award show season .So it's time for the one awards show that just doesn't give a fuck.. So sit back, relax, and prepare to laugh..

The Zeezy Awards

The Rick James "They Should Have Gave You Niggas Money Award"

and the Nominees are:

Mike Jones-(He's that ignant, annoying cousin from your dad's side of the family that you can't stand)

Paul Wall-(Although he's White, he is arguably the most ghetto Nigga in America)

Young Jeezy- (Rides around Atlanta in a Lamborghini but pays $178 a month in child support)

THE WINNER IS...... ITS A TIE!! They should have never gave any of you niggas money!

The Zeezy Award for “I sucked dick and got rich and you hoes are mad you didn’t write a book about it”

Goes To None Other than....

Karrine "Superhead" Steffans

The "Damn, Homie In High School You Was the Man Homie what the Fuck Happened to You" Award..

The Nominees are

K-Ci (I'm not saying he's on crack, I'm just saying he just appears to be a bit Crackish)

Tevin Campbell (Ridin that White Horse and looking crusty)

DMX (Everytime you hear from him its from behind bars instead of a recording booth)

The Winner is.... DRUMROLL....

Bobby and Whitney for their lifetime commitment to ruining their respective musical reputations. BLACK LOVE!!

You Don't Know Me (Part II)

2005-11-21T16:45:00.000-08:00

Before i get into finishing up my list I wanted to talk about something that happened to me that intrigued me. Now in all my years of existence I have never dated a woman of the opposite race. But a simple outing this weekend reaffirmed my desire to never ride the "white horse". I went out with my friend's roomate who happens to be caucasian to help them get their car appraised because they needed a man's presence because dealing with shady car dealers can be a bit intimidating. But the evil stares I got from sistas blew my mind. Maybe I was just being paranoid but as soon as we walked up in the establishment I felt eyes piercing through the back of my head. Now I've never dealt with that kind of thing before so I felt hella awkward. This one nice looking sista in particular gave me the : "you tall ass sellout nigga" look.. I wanted to run up and tell her what the situation was but It would have been to no avail.. Moral of the Story is... No Kanye, when Zeezy gets on he aint gonna leave your ass for a white girl!

51. I eat as much as a 250 lb man but gain no weight
52. Women envy me because I eat whatever I want
53. I think I may have a future in politics.. I'm greedy, have a voracious appetite for women, I like McDonald's, and I was a C+ average student.
54. I fantasize what it will be like when people will kiss my narrow ass.
55. I don't fantasize about kissing a woman with a narrow ass. I like em thick.
56. I think I hate the idea of school, but realize without another degree my earning potential is limited.
57. I'm 24 and I feel like I haven't achieved my full potential yet
58. In another 10 years I should be on top of the world
59. Tupac and Biggie died at age 25.. damn I haven't made my impact on the world yet
60.I wish I had the money to hire a personal trainer.
61. On second thought that money would be well spent on buying me a new car
62. I've never sold drugs b4.
63. I have bad luck
64. I'm afraid I would get caught.
65. If push came to shove I think I would take my chances trafficking drugs.
66.I like someone who doesn't like me back
67. I feel like an idiot for thinking that they would want to be with me
68. Scratch that, she's an idiot for not wanting to be with me.
69. I mask my insecurities with a cockiness bravado
70. There's not too much in this world I fear anymore.
71. Ok, maybe Suge Knight but I probably wouldn't show it
72. I think Kanye West and I are similar
73. Except I look better and have less money..
74. When I was a 12, the kids in the neighborhood called me "turtle" until I beat the shit out of this boy named Fred who joned me so bad I cried.
75. I think that was the day I grew my first pubes.
76. I used to be a mama's boy.
77. That's why I was so spoiled.
78. Ok, I still am to an extent but now I handle's mine
79.In highschool my friends called me "peanut"
80, As an adult my friends call me by my birthname.. We grown ass men now!
81. I grew up in what would be considered a ghetto ass neighborhood in College Park, GA
82. I was teased because I talked "white", then I would turn into a chameleon and become a "shawty" to fit in.
83. I stopped doing that in high school
83. I'm glad my mother made sure I talked "white"
84. I use to be a mischevious ass kid
85. Now I'm just outright nosey
86.I also happen to be a loner
87. Truth be told I don't like being alone all the time
88. I hate dating, all the formalities feel so stupid
89. I want to be able to visit all 7 continents one day, especially Freetown, Sierra Leone
90. I hope I find a woman that will love me for me before I blow up.
91. I really need a new car
92. I have Lobster tastes. on a tuna fish budget
93. I'm tired of MARTA, Atlanta Checker Cab, and my size 12's of being my modes of transportation
94. I'm starting to dislike the holidays
95. I have no idea why
96.Damn just 4 more to go and I'm running outta shit to say
97. Ok maybe 3 isn't bad
98. Ok I'm almost there
99. Didn't I tell you last time that
100. I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO!

You Don't Know Me

2005-11-16T08:25:00.000-08:00

I know that its been long overdue since every blogger has done some form of this list. So for your viewing pleasure here goes my list of 100 things you didn't know about Zeezy4Sheezy. For those who do not want to find out otherwise embarrassing information about me and still want to maintain some semblance of respect for me if you see me in da screets please do not read further.
The List 1-50

I have an Arabic first name and a German last name
Because of this arabic first name I'm a target for authorized searches at Airports around the country. (Thanks, Al-Qaida)
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked "Do you play basketball" I would be a millionaire
I have been mistaken for Tracy Mcgrady at a club in Tampa, Florida. I shamelessly went along with it and got into VIP with all my friends and got 2 bottles of Moet.
I use to be obsessed with Penny Hardaway as a teenager.
It takes alot to make me angry.
Upon me being angry, you might not like me. I will say mean things
I use to be a cute baby/kid.
Then it was all down hill as a teenager then as an adult.
I also wore braces for 2 years
And big brown Coke Bottle glasses.
I looked like Steve Urkel for about a year.
I also had an 6 inch high top with a Nike Sign in the back
I once thought that MC Hammer was a great rapper.
The first Cd I ever bought was back in 1991. It was Kris Kross' "Totally Krossed Out"
I discovered masturbating when I was 13
I haven't stopped ever since
I discovered porn in the closet of my father's house when I was 13.
I still watch porn.
In case you haven't noticed I'm a bit self centered
When I become famous I don't think I will be an egomaniac, I'll just be wealthy.
I don't have any kids, nor do I want any anytime soon.
All my childhood friends have kids now
Whenever I do have a child I hope they're cute..
I have good genetics, of course they'll be cute.
Because of the age gap between many of my co-workers, they think that I am mature
Because of the age similarity of many of my friends, they think I'm immature
I've only slept with somewhere between 1-100 women
Ok I'm lying its actually less than 10
I really like watching Boondocks, Chris Rocks's show on UPN, and Run's House
I think Aaron Mcgruder is my brother from another mother cause I swear we think alike
I still have a huge celebrity crush on Nia Long.
I have been in about 5 fist fights in my entire life
I have not lost one yet
When I was 12 I wore a size 12 shoe
12 years later I still wear the same size
In one summer I grew from 5 ft 9 to 6'2
Sometimes I wonder what kind of game did my dad spit at my mom to get her attention
I think I have a foot fetish.
I like that purple stuff.
I'm skinny but I'm deceptively strong.
If I had a body like Terrell Owens I would never wear clothes and my ego would be off the Richter Scale
I've been shot, hit by a car, and bit by a dog before.
Compiling this list has become more difficult than I expected
I have no patience and I hate waiting
I have a hard time letting go
I like challenges
I love being told I can't do something
I like kissing more than foreplay
I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO

Real Men

2005-11-12T08:49:00.000-08:00

Now before my blog was deleted my last post was about how women often times say one thing but actually mean something entirely different. I know that a few of you took issue or offense to the fact that I didn't make any mention that men often do the same thing. Once again, I will make another disclaimer. This is just my attempt to make sense of the female species and I am only drawing upon my own experiences. Well to those who were concerned, Lately I've been thinking alot about who is considered a REAL MAN because I had someone tell me that is what they need now?

You hear both men and women using this term. What does it mean? Is it even important?

It's almost like the Loch-ness Monster or Bigfoot. You've heard alot about it, people claimed to have seen one but no one is actually really sure if it exists.

Well, after thinking about this particular topic for a long time okay actually 20 minutes when I was on the toilet , I've come to the conclusion that it is a VERY important topic. At this point, I believe that a REAL MAN is this "ideal" that women imagine when they're saying "I want a guy who is sensitive". They're thinking of the REAL MAN, and then they're imagining him ALSO being sensitive. There are a lot of aspects to this REAL MAN.

Here are a few criterion I've come up with:

-Status/Wealth

-Lack of Insecurities

-Standards

-Responsibility

-Experience

-Humor

-Unpredictability

-Leadership

-A Challenge

-Superior Sex Game

So to the readers, what is your version of a real man??

Destroy and Rebuild

2005-11-10T16:50:00.000-08:00

I'm Back Bitches!!! Like New Orleans you tried to destroy me but, now I'm about to be back and better than ever. To inform as to the whereabouts of what happened to my blog, essentially what took place was hating to the highest form. Although in some cruel twist I'm almost flattered that someone would become so incensed with jealousy and rage that they would a) steal my password while looking over my shoulder when I was writing in my blog. b) Logging into my blog and and actually deleting it. c) Then get mad at me because I had the "nerve" to be upset over a blog.

Now granted when I started this I really couldn't give a 2 shits about what came out of head when writing in my blog but, then around March of this year I actually started writing more frequently until I started to have a little fun with it.

You ever have someone hate on you when they had absolutely no reason to? Now I see how Donovan McNabb probably feels about Terrell Owens. Speaking of Terrell Owens I kind of feel sorry for his stupidity. I read your autobiography and saw how similar your childhood was to mine by being an only child, black and skinny. I actually appreciated some of your antics on the field. My only problem was, do you think it was absolutely neccessary to keep continously throwing Donovan under the bus like that considering all that he has overcome just to get rid of the stigma of the "black quarterback". I'm mean Brett Favre is quarterbacking a 1-7 Packers team. What a slap in the face. Then you said some absurdity about the organization not acknowledging your 100th touchdown catch. NEWSFLASH!! You've only been with the team a year, they gave you a 13 million dollar bonus that you agreed to. They honestly don't owe you shit. Now if you were still with the 49ers then that argument would be legitimate. But now you really pushed yourself off the ledge now buddy. Not only have you cost yourself 1.8 million dollars in the process by "keeping it real" but you have created a deep hole for yourself. Because you chose to open your mouth you missed out on that big contract you were expecting and now you probably won't be able to keep that nice home of yours out in Lithonia.. Oops too late you just put it up for sale. Ok I had to get that off my chest but as I was saying before, It's like why is everyone showing me nothing but love except for this one person who contnually says something negative. But I didn't mind it too much because it actually showed that someone really cared enough about me to develop the strong emotion of "haterade" . So thanks alot! You know who you are. This goes for anyone actually Remember, I may not get you back today, tomorrow, or even this year but trust me I will and when I do it will be nuthin nice..lol

I'm BACK!!